I'm not and never have been a hardcore feminist. But recent happenings made me think about being a woman in india the duties expected out of her in the name of love, respect, honour. Our history reveals that our society was a more liberated one in olden days but still retained it's good values. Only after Mogul and english invasions, maybe out of fear and need to safeguard their womenfolk from the invaders, our men started setting some rigid rules for women. Maybe it served it's purpose at that time.

The contemprary india is under transition period. The rapid Socio-economic changes, though for good leaves people in a confused state about values about familial honour social responsibility, relationships and so on. Freedom is never a questionable thing for indian men. They are used to it and they take it for granted Where as only after the IT revolution and the resulting economic independence made indian women free,from our rigid society's clutches, but only from a few and not from all. Contemprary indian women have come a long way, but their independence, their confident ways intimidate men. Women no longer wait for men's nod to do things. They take their own decisions. This irritates men. They fear for their own importance. Women compete with men in everything. This has been a sore spot for men for a long time. Now the recent issue is on morals.

Todays women are indulging themselves happily in dating, visiting pubs, wearing revealing, obscene dresses, drinking alcohol and some of them even indulge in meaningless sexual relationships. So what's worrying whom? But harsh fact, the reality of practical life is men can afford to have all these vices [ according to indian culture these are all considered as vices] where as women can NOT !

Women can make or break homes where as men are only co-habitants in their homes. Women play many a roles in her life but the most important one is 'Mother' 'wife' comes in second. A pub going woman will find her children a hindrance when she becomes a mother.  An alcohol drinking woman will find it hard to discipline her children, let alone teaching about health issues.

How could, a mother who wears revealing dresses, expect respect from her children??

How could, a mother, who is amoral and frivolous, expect her children to keep the honour of the family??

Does this mean women shouldn't enjoy their freedom as they want to?

No. The evolution of Indian women is very noticeable. Once upon a time, thinking about other men except their respective husbands was amoral.

Then the rigid stand slowly relaxed and only looking was considered as amoral. The rigidity slowly started giving way to leniance. Talking to other men except family members was considered amoral. So the scale of morals is forever changing. But everything has a limit, including changes!

Only a few years back, girls leaving their safe homes and staying alone in a strange city was unthinkable. But after the IT revolution, the attractive pay-package and the demanding modern days' needs made it a possible thing today.

So where has gone parents'care for keeping their girl children under wrap till marriage?

Where has gone the so called indian society's girls-should-stay-with-their-parents-till-marriage stand?

Money is the keyword here. Economic needs made parents to let go of their girl children from their clutches ! The so called Indian society and the honour-bound indian culture swallowed it's resentment and goes along with the tide till now. Now the indian women's morals is under attack.

Men feel threatened by women's loose morals. Virginity is becoming a rare commodity. Sexually experienced woman finds faults with her man's fumbling ways. Women are becoming bold enough to come out of their legally-wedded relationships. Women are brave enough to live in sin ie live-in- relationships.

The new found freedom makes women go haywire. It's natural. On one side, our movies feed non stop vulgarity. Porns are just a click away! Even our temples are full of volouptuous women and 6pacs-men' sculptures. Print media go gaga with cheap, sexually explicit issues. When women get exposed to all these sexually stimulating atmosphere at the vulnerable age with over-flowing hormones with an equally over-flowing wallet, they indulge themselves as they see fit! Who could blame them? Sexually awakened, sensually turned on women are hard to control because emotions also play a major role in women's doings. She commits herself 200% in whatever she do. So what is the solution?

Parents.  It's parents' duty to inculcate good values, sense of honour, responsibility and commitment towards family, fidelity, relationships. Catching them young is the only way to comeout of the situation.

For that, parents need to be a bit more responsible expecially the mother!! Remember how our grandmothers' selfless, over whelmingly tender,loving care was phenomenal? Our mothers were , when compared to our grandmothers, not selfless but a bit self-indulging, tender, but not overwhelmingly, loving, but not overly. Today's mothers are lesser in above qualities. Their tolerance level leaves much to desire. Today's mothers, are indulging their children in the name of love, spoiling them rotten!

Obviously women are losing their finer qualities, some are in-born, some are acquired!

A word to men : Western wear are ok provided it's not skin tight. In todays' fast phased life, saris wont do. Men have no right to say anything on this issue.  All men need to do is to control their libido whenever they get to a blessed woman wearing tops. A pair of swaying hips in a jeans is not intentional. Women are naturally gifted with this hip-swinging walk.

To be blunt We women never stare at men's physical assets directly! do we? How come? Dont we get attracted?

Ofcourse we do ! But the ingrained sense of decency instilled by our mothers make it possible for us to overcome such real life temptations. Anything stimulating one's sexual urges and appealing to one's sensuality is good It's a healthy sign! But, acting on such feelings should be confined to their partners only. This is where women and men vastly differ.

Mothers drill into their daughters all kind of moral codes thus enabling them to tackle their own feeling towards opposite sex Where as fathers never spend enough time to teach their sons on how to respect women, How to control libido, and so on.  So, hooligans, goons, road side romeos have no right to beat or thrash or teach morality to women ! Even government and society, have no right !

Only parents can and should do this not only to their daughters but to their sons also! Above all this, there is one important thing that is freedom. A grown woman knows her mind. For god's sake! let her be herself ! If she goes on a alcohol spree, it's her money and her decision as long as it doesnt cause any disturbance to others.

If she indulges herself on a series of one night stands, it's her choice! If she likes to show off her bodily assets, it's her choice! If u men dont like it, just clear off from that place! This "men versus women" war is just irritating! Thrashing women and the "pink chaddi" retaliation is sheer absurdity!